This is always a difficult decision. If you’ve found yourself here, it means that you’re probably struggling with removing a friend from Facebook. Before I begin, I’m going to share a story I had when deciding whether it was the right time for me to remove a friend from the social network and then I’ll explain some ideals for deciding who stays and who goes.
My Story: For a few years in my life, I surrounded myself with someone who I believed to be a friend and someone I always hung out with. Well with aging comes knowledge and with knowledge comes common sense. I found I was being used (which I take responsibility on my part) to further an agenda that really had no benefits for me. I struggled letting go of the friendship which wasn’t just online, but it always seem to reinvent or reach different measures before I had a chance to really process it mentally. I struggled at least 4 times with the Facebook unfriend button.. I had shared my feelings and wanted to move on with my life. I couldn’t do it. I really couldn’t. It was more stressful thinking about pressing the button than actually ending the friendship. Eventually I knew that all the other times I had tried in the past had to happen because I finally felt comfortable with my situation. I released the friendship under equal terms and comfortably unfriended them.
You’re probably thinking “why didn’t you do it sooner?” Or “So what its just Facebook?” and that’s okay because I realize there are people out there who don’t see all of a story and decide to judge something at face value. But if you can relate to my story you know the pain that occurs, the stressful thoughts of someone commenting or stalking your profile. Or waiting for the dreadful “why did you unfriend me?” text. Well this is to all those people who need coaching. We will get through this together. I’m going to start off with some basic steps:
Is the Friend Abusive, Violent or Stalking You?
This is serious, you definitely need to be unfriend them on a social networking website and especially in your life as well. You don’t want affiliation generalizations to occur and most certaintly don’t want to entertain a potentially dangerous situation. There have been many cases of social networks allowing online bullying, which is becoming more and more present during the middle and high school aged teens. Luckily its starting to be regarded as a crime and it is, you shouldn’t allow those who bring you down, taunt you or cause you public humiliation to be connected to you in anyway, shape or form. Parents must also bear the burden of monitoring their child’s social networking accounts. In any case, whether you’re in school or out, never allow for someone to bully, stalk or abuse you online (or offline).
What’s the Friendship Status?
Is it good, bad, or neutral? Figuring out if the friendship is repairable might save you a click of the unfriend button. If you’re having an argument over the cost of tea in China then leave it alone. I’ve had people remove me because they disagree with a certain viewpoint I have. They saved us both some time and we’re better for it.
Damaging Credibility
If someone takes it upon themselves to damage your credibility, then don’t allow them to. What I can’t reiterate enough is that if someone is causing you harm, don’t let it continue. Its one thing to give constructive criticism, but another for someone to go Rambo because they disagree or you’re in a dispute with them.
To save yourself some time and agony, make a list of positive and negatives about keeping them on Facebook.. or use my “Can we still be friends.. on Facebook?” checklist:
Are they abusive?
Are they using you or your profile?
Has the friendship ended offline in a bad way?
Are they robots or scammers?
Are they keeping you up at night?
Is the Facebook friendship causing you stress?
Do you worry about revenge in your new life?
We hope this has helped you decide and take action with your friendship that is hanging in the wind. Just be strong and look towards the future!
Loading ...